As a new dancer or a casual dabbler, going to Latin dance socials or clubs can be a very daunting, stressful idea. Most girls I know are curious about Latin dances, but will rarely attempt to go on their own (even when they have other partner dancing experience) because they're afraid of looking like a fool and/or being touched by a dance partner in an uncomfortable way.
I have been social dancing in Latin dance scenes regularly for 6 years, and I've had some really truly amazing experiences, and some terrible ones as well.
On the terrible side, I have once been groped and kissed against my will, which was bad enough to put me off Latin dancing for a few months. (It is worth to mention the offender was a white male of my age, who was a fairly good dancer. He was probably drunk and just thought that I sent him the ok signs)
Then there are the embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions, boob grazes, a-little-too-akwardly-long Bachata pelvis grindings, accidental kicks from other dancers, dipping my head into someone's elbow, and of course, stepping on my own bloody toes. (And seeing blood.)
These all sound mortifying, yes. But I keep going back because A. You have to learn to laugh at yourself, forgive others, and move on in order to truly enjoy your life, and B. Partner dancing, when done with the right partners to the right music with the right feeling, can have an amazingly exhilarating, transforming, endorphin-producing affect, and there is so much incredible self-discovery/awareness and interpersonal connection to be had.
I did, however, develop a bit of judgemental-men-filing system of my own over the years, to avoid wasting my time/money/energy dancing with people whom I do not yet feel comfortable with. I think knowing what you might be faced with greatly helps with how you deal with a situation that turns out less than ideal.
Trust is a big issue in partner dancing in my opinion, and if I don't know the person asking me to dance with them, and I don't immediately get a comfortable feeling about our first interaction, I first refuse them, saying "Sorry, maybe next one?", then I watch them interacting with other people to see what they are like.
Every city has its own unique dance scene and culture. I've been to a few in the States, and I think New York City (my current city) has one of the biggest Latin scenes I have seen. Because it is big, there is also increased anonymity, which can be scary for young women starting out. My advice to someone who wants to try exploring Latin dance would be to join a local dance school/studio for regular group classes first, because it gives you access to some form of community you can identify with, and the dance studio can act as your safety net. Go to socials/clubs with your classmates and other dancers from the studio, and ask them to introduce you to good dancers they know. That way you start out with a face and a name in the scene, rather than a random girl nobody knows who can easily be forgotten. If you encounter a situation or a partner you don't feel comfortable about, you will be able to talk about it with other newbie dancers, experienced dancers, and instructors.
After learning basic steps/moves/combos, I think it is ESSENTIAL to learn body movement and partnering techniques. These are hard to learn in a group class setting at first, so I strongly suggest taking a private class if you can afford it. Take one with one or two female friend(s) for ladies styling/hip movements, and another by yourself with a male instructor for partnering technique. Learning good following technique can do WONDERS for your social dancing skills and thus, your enjoyment of social dancing.
(You will also be able to experience how a good lead feels, which should be nearly featherlight and fluid. So you can tell those guys who clench your hands and jerk you around to take a hike with more confidence!)
Once you start heading out there, you will be met with many different type of males. The following are my rough guideline. Keep in mind I'm more-or-less stereotyping here, and there are many exceptions. I find that my own vulnerability and mood also changes how I feel about the different types of men, as well as getting to know them after some time. Understand that we all are out there to try to have a good time, and everyone has a different idea of a good time. Just remember to protect yourself - don't dance with someone you don't feel comfortable with, don't let guys pull your arm too hard, keep awareness of your surroundings (running into people/wall sucks), hold your own weight and balance, speak up if you don't like a particular thing they are doing, etc.
Now, Let us examine the boys.
1. Skinny, well-groomed, cologne-heavy, tight-pants'd Latin boys
Pros: These guys are really into dancing, they take classes and often are in some kind of dance teams. (The ones in teams can be identified with the "team T-shirts"- some dance team T-shirt dudes are less likely to dress up fancy) They usually have great technique, know lots of cool combos, and are amazing fun to dance with.
Cons: The downfall here happens when they lack sufficient "social dance-converse skills" (a made-up word by yours truly) and you are not a super high caliber dancer they're used to dancing with, they will often end up pushing you around super fast, making you feel like an idiot with five left feet.
2. Latin men who are not dressed in "I'M A DANCER!!!" outfits
Pros: You get a nice variety. Some have dabbled in classes and will have average-to-good technique. Some are just really casual dancers (just like white people going to nightclubs to "dance"), and will only repeat basic steps, cross-body leads, and turns. This can actually be a really good practice to get used to different leads if you are a beginner.
Cons: If you are already a fairly advanced dancer, you might get very, very bored.
3. Slightly doe-eyed white boys in their going-out clothes
Pros: Usually they're here because either A. their girlfriends brought them, or B. their friends brought them. Forget the former, but the latter could be good to practice with, especially if you make conversations taking classes together in the beginning of the evening. (These guys are less likely to ask someone outside of their own social group to dance with)
Cons: Unfortunately not many in this category have good partnering technique, due to low exposure to partner dancing and rampant poor postures in the States.
4. White boy exception - Serious dancers
These guys are usually dressed in comfy jeans/cargos and a casual shirt (as opposed to going-out-to-club outfits), often drenched to bones with their own sweat. If you can get to them before they start sweating, or if you don't mind the dampness, they usually have good technique and are really fun to dance with.
6. Very short, very tanned, older Latin men. They can be split in two different subcategories; A. really intuitive, amazing dancers, or B. dirty old men, depending on how you look at it.
Pros: If you dance with the former and you can follow them, it could really be an amazing experience. Some are so intuitively skilled in leading body isolation, that you hardly don't have to do anything (just remember to unclench your jaws and relax) and they'll make your body move like Shakira's.
Cons: Even if they're really good, if you can't get over the fact that you're dirty dancing with an old man so short their eye levels with your nipples, it's going to be hard to relax and enjoy the dance.
Also, some of these men actually are not good dancers at all, but think that being Latin makes them automatically good dancers. Their lines usually include (if you are not a Latina) "It's great you're trying my thing, I'll teach you how to do it".
7. Black dudes
Pros: As the stereotype suggests, I find black people generally have nice athletic physical prowess, "the grooves", and are very intuitive partner dancers. I have found that black men are most likely to NOT stick to the conventional guide-lined moves and combos. They just have it in their body, somehow. I find it really educational and enjoyable to dance with them, because they tend to move to the music and feeling, rather than how they are taught in a class.
Cons: Because they often have a tendency NOT to stick to conventional dance moves, it can be tough to follow them.
8. Asians
Pros: Usually they are very clean, mild-mannered, well-behaved, very respectful of your boundaries, and are fairly well-studied (because Asians hardly never do anything they haven't studied for hours).
Cons: They tend to get very "technical", not in terms with partnering techniques, but in the way that they're generally obsessed with lots of moves and combos, trying with all their might to get them all done. I find the Asians quite the opposite of the Black people: Asians usually aren't encouraged to celebrate/show off their body parts, so they tend to go for technical stuff like crazy arm combos & fast moves.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Saturday, August 11, 2012
The art of (painless) sleep
I'm moved in!
The biggest project for my new apartment I need to tackle is definitely the bed.
I find it very hard to get a good night's sleep on a regular spring mattress when my joints are unhappy, because the springs push back on the joints and create painful and/or uncomfortable pressure points and I end up tossing and turning all night trying to get comfortable.
I've been thinking I want to get a memory foam bed, but am a little concerned about the price and a few bad rep. But mostly about the price. (I've had a couple of good night's experience sleeping on a Tempur-pedic before, it felt really comfortable on my joints)
After long hours in front of computer, (most of them spent at the "Mattress Underground") I am thinking perhaps I should go with a regular (somewhat inexpensive) mattress and a quality (=expensive) memory foam topper, but am still trying to decide exactly what I should get; I've been trying to decide for so many months now!
There's no way I can afford Tempur-pedic unless I do some kind of payment plan (Sleepy's will apparently do one for a year interest-free), but I can't be sure if that mattress will last me long enough for it to be worth it. I might go for a less expensive knock-offs, but the judge is still out on that.
The quest for a good night's sleep feels a lot like the quest for a healthy lifestyle or eating healthy food: Everyone secretly knows or wishes they can do better but we're all so confounded by the whole jacked-up system, we don't really know what to do, and we end up paying dearly for it later.
Look ma, I have windows!
This above is my make-shift bedroom setup, I'm sitting on the bed writing this, sipping out of a coconut right now. I never thought I would be caught dead with this sort of IKEA over-the-bed hospital table, but I broke down and bought it last weekend, and it has been oh so useful when I want to just lie in bed like a zombie and watch Netflix in bed after a long-long-long day of work.
The biggest project for my new apartment I need to tackle is definitely the bed.
I find it very hard to get a good night's sleep on a regular spring mattress when my joints are unhappy, because the springs push back on the joints and create painful and/or uncomfortable pressure points and I end up tossing and turning all night trying to get comfortable.
I've been thinking I want to get a memory foam bed, but am a little concerned about the price and a few bad rep. But mostly about the price. (I've had a couple of good night's experience sleeping on a Tempur-pedic before, it felt really comfortable on my joints)
After long hours in front of computer, (most of them spent at the "Mattress Underground") I am thinking perhaps I should go with a regular (somewhat inexpensive) mattress and a quality (=expensive) memory foam topper, but am still trying to decide exactly what I should get; I've been trying to decide for so many months now!
There's no way I can afford Tempur-pedic unless I do some kind of payment plan (Sleepy's will apparently do one for a year interest-free), but I can't be sure if that mattress will last me long enough for it to be worth it. I might go for a less expensive knock-offs, but the judge is still out on that.
The quest for a good night's sleep feels a lot like the quest for a healthy lifestyle or eating healthy food: Everyone secretly knows or wishes they can do better but we're all so confounded by the whole jacked-up system, we don't really know what to do, and we end up paying dearly for it later.
Monday, July 16, 2012
July 16th Daily Log
July 16th 2012 Daily Log
Pain Levels
L Knee - fine
L Iliopsoas - mild to fine
L Hip Joint - mild pulling dull pain
L IT Band - mild tightness
Misc. - Sore neck/shoulders, arms/hands/fingers from working.
Work
worked over the desk all day 10am-10pm. It was unavoidable and planned in advance, which I think is why I didn't get so depressed, plus I was working on my favourite task.
Workout/Therapy
Lots of shoulder, neck, arm, hand and finger stretches during day(I work with my hands). Some psoas stretches. Little bit of hip/IT band YBR in bed as I'm blogging.
Diet
Banana+pb+Toast
Tuna+Celery+Rice salad
Roommate's ramen (shame...........) and Kimchi
Relax
Watched a Japanese TV series called "Legal High" with my roommate, it was a good episode! 8th one, I think. Going to bed too late.. Will turn off computer asap.
Pain Levels
L Knee - fine
R Knee - mild to fine
L Sacroiliac Joint - fine
R Sacroiliac Joint - Mild pulling dull pain
L Iliopsoas - mild to fine
R Iliopsoas - mild tightness
L Hip Joint - mild pulling dull pain
R Hip Joint - mild pulling dull pain, more tightness than L
L IT Band - mild tightness
R IT Band - mild pulling at the hip
Misc. - Sore neck/shoulders, arms/hands/fingers from working.
Work
worked over the desk all day 10am-10pm. It was unavoidable and planned in advance, which I think is why I didn't get so depressed, plus I was working on my favourite task.
Workout/Therapy
Lots of shoulder, neck, arm, hand and finger stretches during day(I work with my hands). Some psoas stretches. Little bit of hip/IT band YBR in bed as I'm blogging.
Diet
Banana+pb+Toast
Tuna+Celery+Rice salad
Roommate's ramen (shame...........) and Kimchi
Relax
Watched a Japanese TV series called "Legal High" with my roommate, it was a good episode! 8th one, I think. Going to bed too late.. Will turn off computer asap.
Overall
Nearly painless day, was surprised to feel only mild discomfort from sitting all afternoon-evening. Yay :) Wondering if it has anything to do with the extensive (painful! in a good way!) YBR session I did on my IT band/quads/inner thighs/pelvis yesterday, I will keep on tracking logs to confirm.
Nearly painless day, was surprised to feel only mild discomfort from sitting all afternoon-evening. Yay :) Wondering if it has anything to do with the extensive (painful! in a good way!) YBR session I did on my IT band/quads/inner thighs/pelvis yesterday, I will keep on tracking logs to confirm.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
New Home, New Game.
I am moving!
Today everything was finalized and I'm moving to Astoria, very close to the Astoria Park.
Housing problem has been weighing on me for a while now - when I first moved to New York last year, I was making next to nothing "intern"ing and could only afford to share a basement one bedroom apartment with a roommate, and with the lack of both sunlight (my bedroom doesn't have any windows) and privacy, I was getting pretty depressed.
I'm going to be paying more than DOUBLE the rent of what I'm paying now, but I decided to take the plunge because I'm quite the homebody (not just from the joint problems, but that makes it even more important) and the environment at home is something I get affected by very easily.
I know it's just not healthy to compare, but I can't help it, I'm human!
Even with the bunch of money I ended up schlapping on the problem to upgrade my options, the decision still left me with many problems that I had to try to solve.
The biggest compromise I had to make, and what will probably be the biggest challenge of all is the stairs. The Ditmars (N,Q) station I will be using has 2.5 flights of steep stairs (as apposed to 1 I have now), and my new apartment is on the third floor. (3 flights of stairs, albeit carpeted) *cringe fest*.
Yes, I know it was rash of me to go for this, that I am taking a gamble here. But it is near impossible to find a good sized, well-kept, first floor apartment in a nice, quiet neighborhood that gets any privacy and also has good commuting options to my work(subway/bus/bike) in my price range in New York.
I had been looking everywhere (Initially I had wanted to move into Manhattan, just so that I don't have to bike over the bridge) for several weeks and knew that this place was in a prime location, was extremely spacious for NYC standard(I really need some extra space for doing my physical therapy/body rolling at home every morning and night), everything is being remodeled by a nice, clean owner family who lives there, so there won't be problems with rats or bugs, and it has the nice home-like feeling that my old apartment did.
I had this gut feeling of relaxation and domestic bliss as soon as I first walked into my old apartment, and even though it was on the second floor (2.5 flights of stairs actually, I had high ceilings) I took it, and I ended up being sooooooo happy there. I eventually reached a point where I was living pretty much pain free for over a year while I lived there!
I had the similar feeling in my gut when I walked into the new apartment, like I could relax and breathe in there, spread my limbs out and bathe in sunlight, and just live comfortably. I felt that my gut feelings- ergo, my mental health- affect my joint health greatly enough that it just might work again.
We will find out what happens!
So, I'm working on my New Game Plan to help me succeed. I'll have to tweak/re-prioritize my schedules to make sure that there will be absolutely minimum stairs/walking strain on my legs.
So far I've got.. (It's not complete yet, and I'm sure it'll change again after I move)
Exercise Plan
1. Swim - At least 3 times a week. Front crawl with pull bouy for cardio, breast stroke, stretching and floating.
2. Weight lifting - At home for now. (my gym has concrete stairs..) I do basic stuff with 5 lb. dumbbells, and sometimes the Jillian Michaels Kettlebell workout (I like that it engages core, but don't love the pressure on my knees).
3. Something for core! :( Aerial silk is on hold since it's a bit of a walk to get to the place.. a sad compromise for now.
Physical Recovery Plan
1. Yamuna body rolling - Pelvis/upper legs routine every day (I've been having tremendous results with it lately, since I started going to the studio to improve my "rolling skills"), Studio class every Thursday after work. (Still gotta work on the transportation here..)
2. Bodywork or Massage every 4 weeks (Definitely getting one right after the move!)
3. Lots of Sleep, Rest and Water.
Diet Plan
1. Pre-plan FreshDirect grocery deliveries. I'm not sure if they'll deliver to my door (my apartment door will be inside the front door of the 3-family house) but I will try to arrange it, it'd really save my knees.
2. Some groceries/stuff I can get from the fruit cart everyday just outside of work/subway station
Today everything was finalized and I'm moving to Astoria, very close to the Astoria Park.
Housing problem has been weighing on me for a while now - when I first moved to New York last year, I was making next to nothing "intern"ing and could only afford to share a basement one bedroom apartment with a roommate, and with the lack of both sunlight (my bedroom doesn't have any windows) and privacy, I was getting pretty depressed.
I'm going to be paying more than DOUBLE the rent of what I'm paying now, but I decided to take the plunge because I'm quite the homebody (not just from the joint problems, but that makes it even more important) and the environment at home is something I get affected by very easily.
My old Home Sweet Home, on the other side of the continent.
I had this airy 1 bedroom + 1 den apt in the city all for myself and paid half of what I'll be paying sharing an apt with 2 more girls.
I know it's just not healthy to compare, but I can't help it, I'm human!
Even with the bunch of money I ended up schlapping on the problem to upgrade my options, the decision still left me with many problems that I had to try to solve.
The biggest compromise I had to make, and what will probably be the biggest challenge of all is the stairs. The Ditmars (N,Q) station I will be using has 2.5 flights of steep stairs (as apposed to 1 I have now), and my new apartment is on the third floor. (3 flights of stairs, albeit carpeted) *cringe fest*.
Yes, I know it was rash of me to go for this, that I am taking a gamble here. But it is near impossible to find a good sized, well-kept, first floor apartment in a nice, quiet neighborhood that gets any privacy and also has good commuting options to my work(subway/bus/bike) in my price range in New York.
I had been looking everywhere (Initially I had wanted to move into Manhattan, just so that I don't have to bike over the bridge) for several weeks and knew that this place was in a prime location, was extremely spacious for NYC standard(I really need some extra space for doing my physical therapy/body rolling at home every morning and night), everything is being remodeled by a nice, clean owner family who lives there, so there won't be problems with rats or bugs, and it has the nice home-like feeling that my old apartment did.
I had this gut feeling of relaxation and domestic bliss as soon as I first walked into my old apartment, and even though it was on the second floor (2.5 flights of stairs actually, I had high ceilings) I took it, and I ended up being sooooooo happy there. I eventually reached a point where I was living pretty much pain free for over a year while I lived there!
I had the similar feeling in my gut when I walked into the new apartment, like I could relax and breathe in there, spread my limbs out and bathe in sunlight, and just live comfortably. I felt that my gut feelings- ergo, my mental health- affect my joint health greatly enough that it just might work again.
We will find out what happens!
So, I'm working on my New Game Plan to help me succeed. I'll have to tweak/re-prioritize my schedules to make sure that there will be absolutely minimum stairs/walking strain on my legs.
So far I've got.. (It's not complete yet, and I'm sure it'll change again after I move)
Exercise Plan
1. Swim - At least 3 times a week. Front crawl with pull bouy for cardio, breast stroke, stretching and floating.
2. Weight lifting - At home for now. (my gym has concrete stairs..) I do basic stuff with 5 lb. dumbbells, and sometimes the Jillian Michaels Kettlebell workout (I like that it engages core, but don't love the pressure on my knees).
3. Something for core! :( Aerial silk is on hold since it's a bit of a walk to get to the place.. a sad compromise for now.
Physical Recovery Plan
1. Yamuna body rolling - Pelvis/upper legs routine every day (I've been having tremendous results with it lately, since I started going to the studio to improve my "rolling skills"), Studio class every Thursday after work. (Still gotta work on the transportation here..)
2. Bodywork or Massage every 4 weeks (Definitely getting one right after the move!)
3. Lots of Sleep, Rest and Water.
Diet Plan
1. Pre-plan FreshDirect grocery deliveries. I'm not sure if they'll deliver to my door (my apartment door will be inside the front door of the 3-family house) but I will try to arrange it, it'd really save my knees.
2. Some groceries/stuff I can get from the fruit cart everyday just outside of work/subway station
Work Plan
My goal remains - Efficiency, Speed, Leaving work on time.
Condition of Living Plan
Furniture shopping - Good Dining chairs. Maybe get a cushioned bench for my room to do exercises on?
Feel-Good Life Plan
(Making Friends, Socializing, Family Stuff, Volunteering, Artist's Dates, Beauty Regimen, Dressing well, etc.)
Building them around where I will be living, biking to Astoria Park/ Costco is definitely on the list.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
July 11th 2012 Daily Log
July 11th 2012
Had a rocky day at work, wrestled with one assignment all day and felt powerless. Sacrum and right side hip joint was also hurting.
I felt crappy about leaving without the assignment done but my goal from now on is to get out of work on time so I did, and it did wonders to my mood.
On the way to my gym pool, I stopped by Arche having a sale and ended up finding a cute pair of comfy mid-height wedge sandals I've been looking for to wear on my commute to work. I've been noticing lately how taxing it is on my body to wear flip-flops/backless sandals, so I've been on a prowl for sandals that have secure back straps. My hips and legs feel immediately easier to move when I wear secure footwear that is also light-weight (i.e. trainers, which I refuse to wear with my work clothes).
Unlike most of the Arche designs, these don't look frumpy on me at all, which I was very happy about because I find their cushy shoes very easy on my knees.
Afterwards, I went to the pool to do the usual 30 minute workout/physical therapy. 8 laps with Pull Bouy (note: it's a teeny tiny pool), 2 laps front crawl and 1 lap of breaststroke. I started and ended with stretches and floating in the pool, of course.
I'm not sure if the breaststroke kicks are bad for my knees (they wobble a little during the kick), but it really helps open up my hips, so I like to do a little bit every time.
I'm also thinking about re-learning butterfly strokes, or at least just the dolphin kick part. I learned butterfly stroke as a child but now I can't really do it without feeling very embarrassed. When I do it underwater the undulating motion makes my body feel relaxed and good.
I ended up wrapping up the day in a great mood and minimal pain. =D
Monday, July 9, 2012
Ups and Downs and Under
I've been having such a hard time with the mood swings lately.
My roommate calls it "The 3 Months Rule". Her theory is that everyone who moves to NYC gets really depressed every 3 months until they either eventually fade away and settle into the new life, or finally break down and leave the city.
It's always hard to move to a new place where you don't have any familiar grounds or support system, but NYC seems especially tough for a lot of people. Its notoriety of course draws people from all over the world driving every living cost high and wages low, but another interesting big city "charm" is the coexistence of the extreme opposites. In any given block, there could be multi-million dollar luxury condos standing next to the torn down building and a homeless or two sleeping in front of it. Dark nannies with white babies in luxury strollers, cloud of ballerinas gliding to their classes past loud street performing youths next to a crazy man screaming to himself next to a polished woman carrying a bag that costs my salary.
When I look around me, I feel like it'd almost be a wonder if my mood swings are not the manifestations of my own confusions of this world that I am living in, that I cannot quite make sense of, nor feel comfortable being inside of. One minute I'm fighting so hard not to throw myself down the floor and bawl my lungs out crying, next minute I'm incandescently relishing my life feeling ever so lucky and fabulous. WTF?
I used to love visiting New York, but am I cut out for this life? I used to say no, but I've been trying to make that a yes since the day I got the job offer (the job which I so tenaciously sought after), and the answer changes a million times a day, still.
No doubt this is an experience of a lifetime for anyone, I just hope that in the end, it will have been worth it for me.
My roommate calls it "The 3 Months Rule". Her theory is that everyone who moves to NYC gets really depressed every 3 months until they either eventually fade away and settle into the new life, or finally break down and leave the city.
It's always hard to move to a new place where you don't have any familiar grounds or support system, but NYC seems especially tough for a lot of people. Its notoriety of course draws people from all over the world driving every living cost high and wages low, but another interesting big city "charm" is the coexistence of the extreme opposites. In any given block, there could be multi-million dollar luxury condos standing next to the torn down building and a homeless or two sleeping in front of it. Dark nannies with white babies in luxury strollers, cloud of ballerinas gliding to their classes past loud street performing youths next to a crazy man screaming to himself next to a polished woman carrying a bag that costs my salary.
When I look around me, I feel like it'd almost be a wonder if my mood swings are not the manifestations of my own confusions of this world that I am living in, that I cannot quite make sense of, nor feel comfortable being inside of. One minute I'm fighting so hard not to throw myself down the floor and bawl my lungs out crying, next minute I'm incandescently relishing my life feeling ever so lucky and fabulous. WTF?
I used to love visiting New York, but am I cut out for this life? I used to say no, but I've been trying to make that a yes since the day I got the job offer (the job which I so tenaciously sought after), and the answer changes a million times a day, still.
No doubt this is an experience of a lifetime for anyone, I just hope that in the end, it will have been worth it for me.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
I hurt now.
Okay, I'm going to assume your joints are hurting right now, and I'm going to assume it's your knees. (From what I have seen and gathered over the years, it usually starts with knees, then ankles/hips)
You've been trying to tough it out for a while but it's just not going away. And you don't know what to do or where to start. If you're hurting now, read on.
1. First of all, I wish someone had told me this at the beginning: Your joint pains are here to stay and it's a Looooooooong road to recovery. Tendons, connective tissues and cartilages take many months to heal. I had to spend many many many months trying to wait it out (biting my lips while working 3 jobs), crying from the defeat of pain and feeling lost before I finally realized it's not something I can get over like a cold, and had to adapt a completely different attitude and lifestyle. Get in the new life-planning mode, get off the bed/sofa, and start making changes every day.
2. Go to a swimming pool now!! Get a membership and go everyday if possible.
Being in the water is the best (and possibly the only) thing you can do to get relief from joint pain to promote healing, be able to exercise, so you can eventually get your mobility back.
You don't even have to be able to swim, just go float/walk around in the chest-level water. (If you still feel your knees aching, wear the Jog Belt and float around in the deep end. It may look dorky, but the relief is sweet sorrow..)
I like to do the crawl & backstroke laps with Pull Bouy between my thighs; you get the cardio workout you're desperately missing, as well as arm/upper body/back workout, and you don't have to use much legs. But take care, if your knees are very inflamed and feeling super uncomfortable to the point of pain during this exercise, you shouldn't be doing it. Stick to the jog belts, floating and gentle walking/cycling motion like those nice old ladies with replacement hip/knees in the deep end for now.
3. Take painkillers if you're not already. If the maximum over-the-counter dosages (800mg ibuprofen or 400mg Naproxen) are not even doing anything, see an orthopedic doctor about getting something stronger temporarily to get you going.
4. Make an appointment to see a licensed Physical Therapist or a bodyworker. If you can afford to see an Orthopedic/Sports medicine specialist doctor, great. But don't expect them to fix you, they'll just refer you to a Physical Therapist. They can only make diagnosis, and sometimes not a great one at that either in our cases. They are usually doing surgeries on athletes and old people, and have no idea why us young, pretty, healthy looking things are walking in with joint pain.
Have the Physical Therapist or Bodyworker do an assessment of what's going on with your overall body structure right now. Is your pelvis tilting or twisting one way? Are your back/ab muscles strong enough to hold you up without stressing hip/knee joints? Are your IT band/ quad muscles tight and pulling the kneecap? Are the tendons tight and/or inflamed? Chances are, your knee cartilage is inflamed as well. Tell them where it hurts the most and ask them how to start treating it at their office and at home everyday. Start doing the exercises they give you (probably lots of stretches, a few leg raises, and some massages) every morning and night.
5. Limit the impact and stress on your joints.
Assess how much on-ground walking, standing, sitting (even in bed), and driving you are doing and eliminate them as much as possible. No running or jogging either. Find a way to cheat around having to walk for errands: get your food/groceries delivered, post mails online and have your mailman pick them up, ask friends for help with cooking or dishes. I ride my bicycle rather than walk to get unavoidable errands done, since cycling is much easier on my joints than walking. I also ask my friends for rides or call a taxi, since driving puts way more stress on my joints than just lounging in the passenger seat.
Get yourself a well-structured, cushy and lightweight shoes with thick midsoles (like Merrell), box away any medium-high heels and flimsy thin sandals for now. Get plush carpet or cushy mat for your apartment where you walk around the most. Super thick, closed-cell foam athletic pads are great for bathroom, kitchen sink, by the bed, and at your work place.
When even laying down on a bed hurts your knees, best option is a good recliner (or a deck lounger) that can give you a very gentle curve at the knee AND hip. (wide angle at the hip helps prevent tight Psoas muscles, a common problem from sitting for prolonged period of time that leads to hip joint pain)
Bunch of pillows under the knees and back can do the trick in a pinch, but be warned that any kind of sitting position on the mattress will put stress on your Psoas muscles.
If you have a desk job, find a way to make it a standing/perching(lightly leaning on a high stool)/sitting combination work station. Again, we're trying to avoid your psoas muscles from being contracted all the time, as well as to avoid prolonged sitting/staying in the same posture. Take a break every 5 minutes to stretch gently for a minute or two, and change work station from sitting-perching-standing-lounging (if possible) from time to time.
Of course, most of us HAVE to work on the chair for the most of the time. (Me included) Research good posture habits and invest in a good chair/balance ball/saddle chair/stool/whatever that works for you.
6. Book a massage. Get it regularly- weekly or biweekly at least. Your muscles, tendons, and all the connective tissues are probably getting very tight and knotted (or sensitive) from trying to compensate for your knee pain. If this continues, you'll get fibromyalgia and life becomes even more painful. Make sure to tell the massage therapist about your joint problems and ask for a gentle, therapeutic direct and indirect myofascial release. I also highly recommend Reflexology (very therapeutic and the whole body feels better) and Shiatsu/Thai massage.
If you're on a budget, find a massage therapy school nearby and look for a student clinic, where you can get massages from training students for much less money.
7. In between massages/therapies, do gentle stretches and self myofascial release (self-massage) every day. Learn to use foam roller (softer is better since you're probably very tight all-over from the pain) or self-massage balls. I found good relief from Yamuna Body Rolling and MELT method;
I do one or both forms of self massage everyday, and in addition massage my tendons on my knees and hips in a perpendicular angle to the fiber growth (which helps repair tendons better) with my fingers/knuckles using an anti-inflammatory creams as a lubricant.
8. Look for any kind of low impact exercise you can do regularly like yoga, pilates, cycling, rock climbing/bouldering, brisk walking on mulch, swimming (you're already doing that, right?), etc.
For example, I used to enjoy hiking, jogging and kendo, all of which used a lot of knees. I have since then started swimming again, and learned cross-country skiing, rock climbing/bouldering, and aerial silk. For walks, trekking poles will help immensely.
A friend of mine also suggests taking up knitting/cross stitching.
We want the activities to give you enough exercise and/or endorphin boost, to help with your mood, and heal/strengthen the body.
9. Start having serious conversations with friends, work colleagues/bosses and families about your joint problems. Don't just say "Owww my knees are still sore, this sucks!", instead, tell them "I'm very concerned about how dysfunctional my knee joints have become, and I'm going to see someone about it. It's depressing me to have joint problems at my age, and I could really use some support."
Ask for all the help you can get. Monetary, physical, psychological. Don't let the problem get bigger than they already are, get serious and admit you have a serious problem. And get ready to start treating yourself NOW.
10. Start coming up with a game plan for a new change of lifestyle - it'll require lots of research, and you'll have to change the plans many times depending on how you respond to it. Build a day-to-day routine and strive for consistency, so you can better monitor your response and progress. I'll have posts dedicated to this "Planning" part, check them out and aim to make your own personalized game plan best suited for you.
You've been trying to tough it out for a while but it's just not going away. And you don't know what to do or where to start. If you're hurting now, read on.
1. First of all, I wish someone had told me this at the beginning: Your joint pains are here to stay and it's a Looooooooong road to recovery. Tendons, connective tissues and cartilages take many months to heal. I had to spend many many many months trying to wait it out (biting my lips while working 3 jobs), crying from the defeat of pain and feeling lost before I finally realized it's not something I can get over like a cold, and had to adapt a completely different attitude and lifestyle. Get in the new life-planning mode, get off the bed/sofa, and start making changes every day.
2. Go to a swimming pool now!! Get a membership and go everyday if possible.
Being in the water is the best (and possibly the only) thing you can do to get relief from joint pain to promote healing, be able to exercise, so you can eventually get your mobility back.
You don't even have to be able to swim, just go float/walk around in the chest-level water. (If you still feel your knees aching, wear the Jog Belt and float around in the deep end. It may look dorky, but the relief is sweet sorrow..)
This dorky belt helps you to float upright so you can feel the complete relief on your knees, while making your abs work. Not so dorky now, is it?
photo from SwimOutlet.com
Pull bouy. Stick it in between your thighs. Much softer and more therapeutic than men.
photo from SwimOutlet.com
3. Take painkillers if you're not already. If the maximum over-the-counter dosages (800mg ibuprofen or 400mg Naproxen) are not even doing anything, see an orthopedic doctor about getting something stronger temporarily to get you going.
4. Make an appointment to see a licensed Physical Therapist or a bodyworker. If you can afford to see an Orthopedic/Sports medicine specialist doctor, great. But don't expect them to fix you, they'll just refer you to a Physical Therapist. They can only make diagnosis, and sometimes not a great one at that either in our cases. They are usually doing surgeries on athletes and old people, and have no idea why us young, pretty, healthy looking things are walking in with joint pain.
Have the Physical Therapist or Bodyworker do an assessment of what's going on with your overall body structure right now. Is your pelvis tilting or twisting one way? Are your back/ab muscles strong enough to hold you up without stressing hip/knee joints? Are your IT band/ quad muscles tight and pulling the kneecap? Are the tendons tight and/or inflamed? Chances are, your knee cartilage is inflamed as well. Tell them where it hurts the most and ask them how to start treating it at their office and at home everyday. Start doing the exercises they give you (probably lots of stretches, a few leg raises, and some massages) every morning and night.
Even if you used to have good posture, chances are, your pain have altered your posture and it's important to get yourself checked out.
5. Limit the impact and stress on your joints.
Assess how much on-ground walking, standing, sitting (even in bed), and driving you are doing and eliminate them as much as possible. No running or jogging either. Find a way to cheat around having to walk for errands: get your food/groceries delivered, post mails online and have your mailman pick them up, ask friends for help with cooking or dishes. I ride my bicycle rather than walk to get unavoidable errands done, since cycling is much easier on my joints than walking. I also ask my friends for rides or call a taxi, since driving puts way more stress on my joints than just lounging in the passenger seat.
Get yourself a well-structured, cushy and lightweight shoes with thick midsoles (like Merrell), box away any medium-high heels and flimsy thin sandals for now. Get plush carpet or cushy mat for your apartment where you walk around the most. Super thick, closed-cell foam athletic pads are great for bathroom, kitchen sink, by the bed, and at your work place.
When even laying down on a bed hurts your knees, best option is a good recliner (or a deck lounger) that can give you a very gentle curve at the knee AND hip. (wide angle at the hip helps prevent tight Psoas muscles, a common problem from sitting for prolonged period of time that leads to hip joint pain)
Bunch of pillows under the knees and back can do the trick in a pinch, but be warned that any kind of sitting position on the mattress will put stress on your Psoas muscles.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.....
If you have a desk job, find a way to make it a standing/perching(lightly leaning on a high stool)/sitting combination work station. Again, we're trying to avoid your psoas muscles from being contracted all the time, as well as to avoid prolonged sitting/staying in the same posture. Take a break every 5 minutes to stretch gently for a minute or two, and change work station from sitting-perching-standing-lounging (if possible) from time to time.
Of course, most of us HAVE to work on the chair for the most of the time. (Me included) Research good posture habits and invest in a good chair/balance ball/saddle chair/stool/whatever that works for you.
Angles to keep in mind - neck/back, at the hip, and at the knees. Try to get the straightest line (widest angle) possible.
Photo from CoreAwareness.com
6. Book a massage. Get it regularly- weekly or biweekly at least. Your muscles, tendons, and all the connective tissues are probably getting very tight and knotted (or sensitive) from trying to compensate for your knee pain. If this continues, you'll get fibromyalgia and life becomes even more painful. Make sure to tell the massage therapist about your joint problems and ask for a gentle, therapeutic direct and indirect myofascial release. I also highly recommend Reflexology (very therapeutic and the whole body feels better) and Shiatsu/Thai massage.
If you're on a budget, find a massage therapy school nearby and look for a student clinic, where you can get massages from training students for much less money.
7. In between massages/therapies, do gentle stretches and self myofascial release (self-massage) every day. Learn to use foam roller (softer is better since you're probably very tight all-over from the pain) or self-massage balls. I found good relief from Yamuna Body Rolling and MELT method;
I have this MELT roller which I like, it's much much softer and cushier than the usual foam rollers.
I do one or both forms of self massage everyday, and in addition massage my tendons on my knees and hips in a perpendicular angle to the fiber growth (which helps repair tendons better) with my fingers/knuckles using an anti-inflammatory creams as a lubricant.
8. Look for any kind of low impact exercise you can do regularly like yoga, pilates, cycling, rock climbing/bouldering, brisk walking on mulch, swimming (you're already doing that, right?), etc.
For example, I used to enjoy hiking, jogging and kendo, all of which used a lot of knees. I have since then started swimming again, and learned cross-country skiing, rock climbing/bouldering, and aerial silk. For walks, trekking poles will help immensely.
Hiking/Trekking Poles. Get a pair and learn to use them, they'll become your best friends.
Also look for feel-good hobbies that you can enjoy without involving the use of knees/sitting. If you have no hobbies that doesn't involve knees, start learning new ones. I started listening to audio books while doing the stretches/self-massages/exercises, and I watched a lot of feel-good movies/TV series while I spent a lot of time lounging/laying down. (actual books and laptops are tricky to hold up for a long period of time while laying down) A television should be the biggest you can afford and be positioned just right height/angle to avoid neck strain. A friend of mine also suggests taking up knitting/cross stitching.
We want the activities to give you enough exercise and/or endorphin boost, to help with your mood, and heal/strengthen the body.
9. Start having serious conversations with friends, work colleagues/bosses and families about your joint problems. Don't just say "Owww my knees are still sore, this sucks!", instead, tell them "I'm very concerned about how dysfunctional my knee joints have become, and I'm going to see someone about it. It's depressing me to have joint problems at my age, and I could really use some support."
Ask for all the help you can get. Monetary, physical, psychological. Don't let the problem get bigger than they already are, get serious and admit you have a serious problem. And get ready to start treating yourself NOW.
10. Start coming up with a game plan for a new change of lifestyle - it'll require lots of research, and you'll have to change the plans many times depending on how you respond to it. Build a day-to-day routine and strive for consistency, so you can better monitor your response and progress. I'll have posts dedicated to this "Planning" part, check them out and aim to make your own personalized game plan best suited for you.
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